"We rush down to the country at weekends and put on a shabby coat and holey jeans to pretend we're farmers. Then we try to get as much mud as we can on our boots and under our fingernails."People who downsize very rarely regret it. There are probably millions of us."It's a bit like transvestitism," he continues, warming to the theme. Over the course of a six-part series, he kicks the city for a summer of rural bliss rearing pigs and growing vegetables on a picturesque Dorset smallholding. Among townies, there's a deep desire to commune with nature that predates The Good Life or A Year in Provence by several millennia. "I hope I'm by no means alone in considering myself a rural-urban schizophrenic," says Fearnley-Whittingstall "I live in the town, but I think I belong in the country. The cartoon encapsulates the yearning for the rural idyll experienced by more and more city-dwellers.

The town-country debate is crystallised in Escape to River Cottage, as Fearnley-Whittingstall, a card-carrying urbanite, tries his hand at that buzz-phrase - "downsizing". As soon as he progresses onto the open country roads, though, he hears birds tweeting and cows mooing, and his face brightens into a smile. Stuck in nose-to-tail traffic on an urban flyover, he frowns while assailed on all sides by choking exhaust fumes, flying litter and blaring sirens. In the opening, animated title sequence for Escape to River Cottage, Hugh Fearnley-Whittingstall's new Channel 4 series, the presenter is pictured driving his convertible out of London. And there wasn't a party-popper to be seen or heard.Tea for adults is pounds 18.50, for children under 10, pounds 9 - not bad, we thought, for something memorable. At a place like the Savoy, even a trip to the loo is an event.Savoy Hotel, The Strand, London WC2 (0171-836 4343)UPPER CRUSTSThe Ritz150 Piccadilly, London W1 (0171-493 8181)Adults pounds 24.50, under-12s half price.Meridien WaldorfAldwych, London WC2 (0171-836 2400)Adults pounds 18 (weekends pounds 25), children half price.The Dorchester53 Park Lane, London W1 (0171-629 8888)Adults pounds 19.50, children charged according to how much they eat.. Miniaturisation is often the answer if children get fussy about what they're eating; mine sat back in their comfy armchairs and tucked in contentedly.

The Savoy knows how to make you feel good.Tea is all you would wish for: cakes, pastries, scones with cream and jam, and exquisitely cut sandwiches - all delicious. This is doll's house food, which, I suspect, is why children love it so much. Then it's off to the cloakroom to hand in coats and scarves, and down the thickly carpeted stairs to the stately Thames Foyer, where an impeccably courteous waiter shows you to your table.It's the sound of the place as much as the look of it that appeals - a warm conversational buzz, with a sprinkling of cocktail-bar piano on top The effect on us all was both uplifting and soothing. And it's undeniably special.I refer to tea at the Savoy - one of those London institutions that those of us who live here have long been aware of but may have thought was mainly for tourists. Tea at the Savoy is one of the glories of eating out - and an attainable one.It all starts as you approach the hotel's magnificent art deco facade and are ushered by a flunky through the swing-doors and into the quiet opulence of the foyer. Of course, you've dressed up for this one, which, if your daughters are like mine, is an end in itself.